Memories

I find myself somewhat down these days. I'm not really sure why. My heart just feels heavy. This particular time period has so many painful memories for me - all centered around death. I know those that have died are in such a glorious place, and I'm happy for them. I know I will see them again, so me missing them is only temporary. My emotions take over, and I feel such a familiar feeling of pain - of being alone and isolated. Sometimes I have moments that make me wonder what my time on earth is really about - sometimes it just seems pointless. I'm just not okay with going through the motions of life until I get to the end of it. There has to be more. I always come back to this. I'm just not sure what the 'more' is.

I had a vision yesterday morning while I was sitting in church. I remembered holding my red Bible in my arms while I fell asleep. I have no idea what happened to that Bible. After my daddy died I walked to the drugstore and purchased it with my own money. My mother told me if I slept with my Bible under my pillow I wouldn't have nightmares anymore. Little did she know that she sent me right into the arms of the greatest Love I have ever known. When I saw this vision yesterday my heart filled with so much love. I love Jesus so deeply. My love for Him is so full that I can't even fathom it. This memory made me feel so whole. I'm not sure why God brought this to my attention after all these years, but I'm glad He did. I guess sometimes we just need to be reminded of simple things in life.