I am sitting in Dallas, Texas wide awake. It is 3:30am EST/2:30am where I sit. I'm usually passed out by 10pm. I've had a lot on my mind lately...obviously a lot has had time to accumulate since I have last blogged.
I lost my job - my company dissolved. My last day was Friday, November 13th. I am very thankful for 4 months of severance. It seems that I have been busier during unemployment than I was when I was working full time and managing everything that was required to 'do life'.
I completed this past Saturday the Exchange Life workshop through Grace Mnistries...the workshop, along with the 3 day conference I attended in October were absolutely life changing. My relationship with Christ became even deeper, and that has always been a deep and treasured prayer of mine. I pray that it continues to go deeper still.
One of the things that has been weighing heavily on my mind is this: I've realized that rejection breeds more rejection. It is a nasty downward spiral. I'm honestly not sure how to jump off of that road...especially when this rejection resides in your family. When someone treats you poorly, but is incapable of seeing it, what do you do? I know you are suppose to continuously turn the other cheek, but after time, you are too exhausted to continue to take the punches with a smile. The only thing I know to do is to give this situation to God and pray that He changes my heart towards those that hurt me and my family. I pray that He will give us eyes to see as He sees. I feel I have to take a step back and allow healing as well as seeking God daily. I have to find it in my heart to pray - not selfish prayers that this person will change, but rather prayers of blessing and love for this person.
I'm going to end this blog now as I continue to reflect.
